The Day You Were Born

Dear Baby Holler,

The day you were born, Daddy and I were born too.

Your birth and the miracle that occurred in our lives changed us.  We thought, prior to you getting here, that we were happy people.  We found out what it truly means to be happy on December 4th, 2012, at 5:58am.

Many things led up to that moment.  I was induced.  I didn't progress very quickly at all.  I had a LOVELY epidural, and while we waited for you to make your way to the EXIT sign, I was totally comfortable and I actually slept a lot:)  

When the time FINALLY came (almost 36 hours after starting the induction medications) and my body was ready, Daddy held my hand as I gave a practice push.  The Dr coached me into a second practice push, and said that she could see the top of your blonde head.  I could not feel any pain, but I felt slight pressure with each contraction.  The Dr said it was go time, and that in just a couple of minutes, you would be on the outside.

The next 2 times I felt pressure, I pushed with everything I had...  I was getting closer to you!  It was surreal and almost dreamlike.  I didn't know what to expect in those next few minutes, the most important minutes of my life.  The doctor told us that one more push would get you out.  Daddy and I looked at each other, I squeezed his hand as tight as I could, and pushed a third and final time.


It felt like nothing I have ever felt before, a "whoosh!" Of pressure releasing out of my stomach.  It was such an incredible feeling!  Seconds later, they placed you on my stomach.  You looked so startled!  You stared at me wide-eyed, with the biggest, bluest eyes I've ever seen.  You took a few moments to process what was happening before you cried.  Daddy and I were both crying with you.  

Daddy cut your umbilical cord, and the nurses whisked you off to get cleaned up.  It was important to me that Daddy be the first person to really hold you...I wanted him to have that moment, and I had secretly let the nurses know that.  After you were all clean, the nurses brought you over to him and he was confused, as he had assumed I would hold you first.  He was elated to get to hold you, and as he sat in awe and stared at you, with tears in his eyes, he said, almost to himself, "This is what it's all about."  It was the sweetest thing that I've ever seen, and that moment in time is forever imprinted in my memory.

After a few minutes, I let Daddy know that it was time to quit hogging you, and he handed you to me for skin to skin.  At 6lbs 9oz, you were a tiny little thing, and we were in love with every inch of you.

Every single day I think about your birth and I wish I could go back and do it again.  It was so mind-boggling and amazing, I want to go through it again, to get to experience all over again.  From that first practice push until you latched on for the first time, I want a time machine to bring me back to soak it up even more.

You were so beautiful and sweet from the moment you got here, and the greatest joy of my life is watching you grow and learn every day.  Nothing mattered before you.  My life wasn't complete until I saw your stunned big blue eyes.  

Daddy was right...This IS what it's all about.

Thankful

Dear Baby Holler,

Today I am thankful for so many things.  To say that I am blessed is a ridiculous understatement.

I am so grateful for Daddy, my family that I love so much, our beautiful happy life, and of course, little wonderful squirmy you.

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about how lucky Daddy and I are and how grateful I am to God and the universe for finally choosing us for you.  There is not a day that I don't have at least one or two moments that make me tear up thinking about HOW MUCH I love you.  It takes my breath away to think about the second we'll finally get to meet you.  Which I'm also so grateful for, because that moment is only about a week and a half away.  

I'm off to prepare some good food to put down the hatch for you.

Happy Thanksgiving, Harper....You have no idea how much you already loved.

Mommy

2 WEEKS FROM TODAY!

Dear Baby Holler,

I cannot believe it!  The first thing I thought when I woke up this morning was that in exactly 2 weeks from today, Daddy and I will be getting ready to go to the hospital to get you on the outside with us!  I am SO EXCITED I can hardly stand it!  I've been acutely aware that we're getting so close, but we are truly down to the wire and it's almost too much excitement and anticipation to handle - sometimes I think I might burst from it!

Speaking of bursting - I'll go ahead and show you what a big girl you are at 37 weeks!

You are FULL TERM in there!

I had my 37 week checkup on Friday and it turns out that you are starting to get ready to make a break for it....So I'm a little curious to see if you'll visit us beforehand, but my mom never had her babies before her due date, so that makes me think you and I will follow suit.  It's okay if you can't get packed up and moved out before December 2nd.  That's right around the corner, and we can wait for your eviction:)

I have been really emotional this week, and one thing I've been fretting a little about is what is going to happen in our household with the baby that came before you....Frankie.  He is so used to basically doing whatever he wants, and I am completely guilty of being a total softie with him because MOST of the time, he is such a sweetie.  Also, with Daddy gone so much, he is my little buddy.  But he has bad habits- like he sleeps in the bed with us and makes a lot of noise - barking when he hears something outside or wants in or out of the bed.  And on occasion, he has peed or pooped on the carpet upstairs when left unattended- Daddy and I think that he can still smell the dogs that lived in the house before we lived here, and he is marking the carpet.  Either way, we have had the carpet professionally cleaned and also purchased our own steam cleaner for spot treatments.  So that's the background on Frankie, and I've worried about how all his "behaviors" are going to coincide with your sleep and habits, and ultimately, I don't want you crawling on the floor and coming into contact with a Frankie "surprise" because he marked a spot.  Or worse, because he's mad about all the attention you're getting.

I'm equally happy and sad to report that all of this anxiety has been solved.  Frankie solved everything yesterday.  You see, I walked into your room, like I always do, and I was HORRIFIED to find a tiny yellow pee spot on your beautiful light pink Pottery Barn Kids rug that I was so proud to buy you.  To say that I had a total emotional breakdown that he did that to your precious rug is an understatement!!!!  I was so upset with him, and I worked all morning trying to use cleaner and the steamer to get the stain out, and I pretty much cried my face off the whole time that he would do something so AWFUL to me!

So that was the final straw, and even though he is sweet and adorable and I love him to pieces, you are more important now, and I'm actually not even sad to tell you that Frankie got himself a one-way ticket to living downstairs only.  He is banned from upstairs.  I have blocked off the stairs, and set up shop for him in the laundry room downstairs, and that is the living arrangement from now on.  He will not sleep with us, he did not sleep with me last night.  And that is how life in the Holler household will be - done and done.

I don't feel bad for him.  I'm actually glad that he made the decision for me!

I originally took this photo to send Daddy because I though he was being so sweet....But do you know what he's laying there thinking?  "Hmmmm.....I can't wait to get up and go pee on Harper's pretty pink rug....Good times...." 

So that's our update from the outside, Baby Girl!  We are ready for you- Daddy comes home tomorrow night, my hospital bag is packed, and Frankie lives in the Laundry Room.  We're totally ready!!!!

We love you!

Mommy

36 Weeks!!!!

Dear Baby Holler,

In just about 3 weeks, you will finally, FINALLY, be here!!!!

I have neglected the blog because, much to my surprise, the past few weeks have completely flown by, and I haven't had the time to post anything.  I had expected for the third trimester to drag on forever, but it definitely hasn't!  The good news is, we are pretty much totally ready for you.  In a week, you'll be full-term, and Daddy comes home 2 days after that, so I give you permission to come anytime you want after that.  I think you'll find it a lot more fun out here than inside there, so I'm hoping you'll consider coming out to see us on your own, and that we won't have to evict you on Dec. 2nd.

As a matter of fact, as cozy as you think it is in my belly, I think you're really going to enjoy your nursery and feel pretty at home in there!  It's finished - we just need you:)  I really love how peaceful it feels in there, and Daddy and I both like to just go in there sometimes for no good reason at all and look around for a minute.  We love it, and it makes us so excited for you to get here!

See?  We're all ready for you!  And wait until you see your wardrobe!  And your accessories!  I wanted all of your things to be as cute as possible, and here's a quick sneak peek of an example....Your pacifiers!

Your bling pacifier and one of the supercute ones with your name that Aunt Nat and Uncle Aaron got you!

And finally, one of the reasons that you're *just about* considered full-term is because you are BIG!  According to my favorite pregnancy app, this is what you have going on:

Yeah, you're 6 whole pounds!  You're officially a Big Girl!  So apparently, that's what you look like inside, and here's what you look like from the outside:

Excuse the pajamas!!!!

So that's our update from the outside, Baby Girl!  Don't be shy, okay?  We're ready for you whenever!!!

Love,

Mommy

31 Weeks - Bump Update!

Dear Baby Holler,

Guess what?  Daddy comes home in 2 days!  You and I have been busy after traveling for work last week, and now trying to get your nursery organized and completed....So this will be a short post so we can get back to work!

I have read in a lot of my preg books that as the third trimester progresses, most moms experience a "nesting instinct."  Apparently, something makes expectant mothers go nuts organizing and cleaning in preparation for the new baby.  I think this is starting to hit me.  After all of the lovely things we got at the shower last week, and all of the final things I ordered from Amazon this week to get totally finished - I'm basically the Tazmanian Devil in our house trying to find a place for everything and clean the house so it's nice for Daddy.  And while I'm doing everything, I'm thinking about all of the things I need to complete each week for work so that I can not go crazy.  But I'm probably going to end up going crazy anyway!  I'm starting to feel like you're so close, and so I want to make sure that absolutely everything is done/organized/clean before you're here.  I am a procrastinator by nature, but we're basically at a point where procrastination is out of the question.  Eight weeks from today, if you haven't graced us with your presence yet, I will be induced.  In a little under six weeks, you'll be considered full term.  So honestly, you could come at any time after that.

LESS THAN SIX WEEKS!  Yeah, that just freaked me out and I've  gotta go back into your nursery and get back to work!  Aaaaahhhh!

Oh one last thing - Daddy is in charge of your middle name and we're trying the one out in the photo below....What do you think?  Daddy's middle name is Michael after the Saint.  So he thought it'd be neat if you also had a middle name after a Saint.  The church he grew up in was Saint James, so we're testing this out, but I have to say, I'm kind of loving it!  It's different without trying too hard...At first I was a little weirded out that it's masculine, but I think it flows, and I really love that Daddy picked it out all by his lonesome:)

I had to start labeling photos again for Daddy's sake. He showed this pic to some of our friends and very confidently told them I was 27 WEEKS!  So they probably think I'm a huge heifer and I'm mortified.  Sigh.  I don't know how Daddy is so genius with numbers, but he cannot keep up with how old you are in weeks and months to save his life.

 That's it from out here, Baby Girl!  We love you so much!

Mommy

30 Weeks!

Dear Baby Holler,

We've only got 7 weeks left until you're considered FULL TERM - Woohoo!!!  Daddy will be at work from weeks 34-37, and when he gets home, that's when I'm going to start partaking in all of the old wives tales that are said to stimulate labor. 

 If we can get you to come a couple of weeks early, that would be just dandy!  Not because I'm miserable or even THAT uncomfortable, to be honest, but because we're just ready to meet you:)  We have all of this little tiny stuff - cute clothes and little diapers and baby skincare that is going to make you smell all heavenly and baby-like....And I'm just ready for YOU.  It's like when I've been at someone's surprise party before, anxiously awaiting for them to arrive so we could all jump out and yell "SURPRISE!!!"  I just wanted that person to arrive already so the fun and the happiness could begin.  That's how I feel about you.  I want to kiss the the little feet and hands that keep bopping me in my tummy.  And I want to know all about you....Like will you have hair?  Who will you look like?  And when will you get here?  My brain just goes wild with questions about you every day. 

Speaking of all of the tiny person stuff that we have just waiting for you to get here and start using it, your awesome Aunt Bri threw me a shower this weekend!  It was so much fun:)  We played games and had delicious food, and everyone gave you lovely presents...It was a blast!  You are very lucky to have such a good aunt....The sooner you get here, the sooner you can meet her!!! 

Here we  are going to our shower yesterday, our bump update...I don't know how you can possibly get any bigger!

30weeks&2days

That's another thing I wonder - how big ARE you?  We haven't had an ultrasound since 20 weeks, and I know you're a little over 3 lbs now according to baby books, but I still wish I knew exactly what is going on in there.  Maybe you are bigger.  I just like knowing fun facts about you:)  Unfortunately, we won't get to see you again on ultrasound for a while.  My doctor said that it will be 35 or 36 weeks before they check to make sure you're not breech and that you're preparing your exit:)  I tried to talk Daddy into getting an elective 3D/4D ultrasound, but he wants what you look like to be a surprise.  I KIND OF agree with him, but I still miss seeing you.  Even though I can feel you squirming around pretty much all the time, so I know you're still in there.  Well, obviously.  Look at the picture.  You're DEFINITELY in there.

Daddy's home next Tuesday, so hopefully that will pass our time very quickly.  He always keeps us so busy...We already have a lot planned while he's home, because this is his last time home before you're born.  Then next time he comes home from work, we'll be having a baby! 

That's it from the outside, Baby Girl.  We love you and we're getting so close to touching you:)

Love,

Mommy

29 Week Update!

Dear Baby Holler,

The last time I blogged, Daddy and I were about to leave for our Baby Moon to Charleston, SC.  It was amazing!  We had the best time!  We spent a lot of the trip talking about you.  You were definitely the main topic of conversation...We're just so excited that you're *almost* here!

I wish I had some nice photos to show you, but the problem is that Daddy has to be the photographer most of the time.  And as smart as he is, he cannot take a decent photo to save his life.  I wanted to have some bump photos in Charleston, but he managed to completely make me look like a huge walrus in every photo, so I don't have any pics of you and I handy.  I think there are some on the camera, but I haven't downloaded them yet.

I do have pictures of the souvenir I got you!  Daddy and I went to this fantastic Farmer's Market and I found so many little interesting booths!  My two favorites were a local candle vendor that uses recycled wine bottles from local restaurants to make candles that are scented with wine.  They're called ReWined candles, and I'll definitely be buying more!  I also found a really cute local baby clothes store that had a booth there, and all of the clothes are made from organic materials and were super cute...I'll show you!  Frankie was really interested in your souvenir, so I put it on him to model it.  I think he liked it!  If it's this cute on him, I can't wait to see it on you!

Dress and bow from Urbane Living in Charleston, SC

In other news, I am pretty positive that you were upside down for a while, with your head in my lungs.  I have had a really hard time breathing when I lay down, and my doctor said it's because you were on my diaphragm.  I felt a lot of movement this past Thursday, and suddenly I don't have the pressure under my sternum I was feeling, and I can breathe at night!  Yesterday morning I woke up and you had hiccups, and I felt them WAY below my belly button, so I know that's where your little head is now!  Thank you for being sweet enough to get off of Mommy's lungs!!!  It was just GLORIOUS getting to sleep these past few nights!

From today, there are just 70 days until you are scheduled to get here.  It's about 10 weeks, but I like 70 days better because it sounds much shorter.  You have grown A LOT.  I don't know where you are going to put the 3 or 4 lbs that you still need to gain before your arrival.  My tummy is already so big!
This is you and me yesterday, on our way to the gym:

29weeks 1day!

We are pretty ready for you!  We just have a few more things to get and prepare, but I feel pretty good about where the nursery is at!  I finally got the baskets and liners for your cubby so we can throw your stuff in there and keep it organized, and I love how it came out!

The Cameron cubby from Pottery Barn Kids and your new baskets and liners!

And finally, we had our maternity shoot on the beach a few weeks ago with Jamie Lauren Studios.  She did an awesome job, and I'm excited to get the prints in to put in your nursery!  Here is a little sample of one of my favorite photos:

So that's it from the outside, Baby Girl!

Daddy and I love you so much and we get more excited about meeting you every single day!!

Love,
Mommy